Nick Schweigert's Workshop
Nick Schweigert
6621 Picasso Rd. #4
Isla Vista, CA 93117
October 31, 2005
Letters, Computer Shopper
28 E. 28th St., 10th Fl.
New York, NY 10016-7922
Dear Janice J. Chen,
I liked your informative article about the increasing rate at which people are now downloading ringtones to their cell phone (“Ringtone Downloads Are Music to Cell-Phone Users’ Ears,” November, p. 20). There is one thing I would like to warn potential downloader’s about though: be careful who you download from. I downloaded from the cheapest one I could find and found myself receiving text message spam daily. It always said “reply with the word ‘remove’ and you will stop receiving these; but it never worked. I finally had to have my phone number changed to stop the messages. Personalized ringtones can be a lot of fun, but make sure you download them from a reputable source.
Sincerely,
Nick Schweigert
6621 Picasso Rd. #4
Isla Vista, CA 93117
October 31, 2005
Letters, Computer Shopper
28 E. 28th St., 10th Fl.
New York, NY 10016-7922
Dear Janice J. Chen,
I liked your informative article about the increasing rate at which people are now downloading ringtones to their cell phone (“Ringtone Downloads Are Music to Cell-Phone Users’ Ears,” November, p. 20). There is one thing I would like to warn potential downloader’s about though: be careful who you download from. I downloaded from the cheapest one I could find and found myself receiving text message spam daily. It always said “reply with the word ‘remove’ and you will stop receiving these; but it never worked. I finally had to have my phone number changed to stop the messages. Personalized ringtones can be a lot of fun, but make sure you download them from a reputable source.
Sincerely,
Nick Schweigert
posted by NickSchweigert at 9:40 PM
24 Comments:
To: Nick Schweigert
From: Steven Maltz
Workshop Response
Overall you wrote an interesting piece and I like how you included a personal story about your cell phone because it made the letter more appealing to an audience that probably shared some of your same difficulties. You do have a couple small grammatical errors that I have marked on your letter, which I will bring to class on Wednesday. Moreover, instead of telling the reader simply that you downloaded from the cheapest company, you might want to name that company, to make your letter more informative for the reader. By making it more informative it makes your letter more interesting to the reader. Your format looks good, but just remember to sign your name at the end of the letter. Also remember to follow the guidelines of the company you are writing to. Make sure your word count is correct. You are off to a good start and I enjoyed reading your letter.
Hey Nick,
I just read Steven's response and I am in complete agreement. Your letter was really interesting and though I have never downloaded a ringtone i have always thought about it. I also think that you should name the ringtone company that spammed you, that way people can avoid them and not have to run into the same problems that you did. When you named the article that you were responding to I think that you should blend it into your letter better, I do not think that you should have it in parentheses. Other than that I found your letter to be pretty good.
Tyler Watkins
Nick,
I like the idea of this letter because it is something that is becoming more popular. I agree with both Steven and Tyler. Good job writing and just remember to take the article name out of parentheses.
Jeff
I thought your letter to the editor was very well written. I like how you included your own personal experience with cell phone ringtones because it showed that you have a good reason for writing this letter to the editor. I also thought it was helpful how at the end you gave the reader some advice in order to save them from experiencing the same thing you did because of some ringtone sources. Overall I thought your letter was very successful and I hope you get a good grade!
I think your piece is very interesting as well as informative. I enjoyed reading it, and I don't think you need to change anything. You might want to write more about what was published in the article.
By the way happy1987me is Erica Liu
I forgot to write my name on the previous comment.
Nick,
I liked the article you chose to respond to in your letter to the editor. With the ever increasing popularity of cell phone ringtones this is definately an issue that is relavent to the lives of most college students.I thought that the personal experience you included in your letter really contributed to its overall effectiveness. Your letter was well written and with a few revisions i think you will have a great final product.
Jeff Y.
This is a solid letter to the editor. It is short and to the point, which is usually what the editors are looking for when they publish letters to the editor. Most readers will not be interested in reading a long letter. You also present a claim and then support it with facts. Good luck on your final draft.
hey nick,
overall you wrote a very good letter. I really like how you included a personal experience, it shows the editor that you are talking from first hand experince. Many people who might read this might have had the same difficulties as you in the past. There are a few gramatical errors that can easily be fixed. I really enjoyed reading this letter. Good job.
Nick,
Your letter has a good topic and a good focus on trying to warn the reader, but try to keep in mind that this is a letter to the editor, which means you should try and tell the editor that they should have told them this. Other than that it was a really good and personal letter that was interesting, good job.
Kevin Klein
Nick,
I like that you try to add onto the article to help the audience become more aware about the topic. Though, I'm kind of curious to know which parts of the article you found to be informative.
Liz K.
First I must say good job on the formating. It definitely looks like it could be sent off to New York. What I really liked about your letter was the close personal experience you related to after reading the article. I too have downloaded ringtones/bought them but luckily have not recieved any spam mail. It definitely is a trend that has been growing for quite some time now and I would actually like to be informed about the cheapest/best way to obtain these special rigntones. As some of the other classmates have commented I think you could have been a little more informative but the simplicity and conciseness of your letter is legit.
Nick Schweigert- I really liked your response to ring tones, by giving an example on
specialized ring tone download companies, it helps the "reader" realize the severity of
the matter. I really don't have any suggestions
Brittany
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nick,
This is really good letter. I like how you relate your own personal experience to the article and provide the editor and the reader of the article with some advice. Good Job
Eric
Hey Steven!
Your letter to the editor is very interesting, and something Iv'e never thought or heard about. One thing to correct: you forgot to close the quotes after "receiving these". Otherwise it looks great! Good Luck!
mia
Nick,
This is a good letter to the editor. I liked the way you also related to your audience and gave them advice about the downloading from strange sites. The only things I would fix would be grammatical errors. Overall great job though.
Lizeth
Nick,
Well, looks like the insomniac is at it again (me). I got in late and so I can't tell you to close your quotes becuase someone already did. I can say that you letter was interesting and a new angle, so i will. Stick it to that company man and have a good night
-Matt (you better know who this is by my user name) O'Leary
Nick,
I agree with most of the other students when i say that i also liked the article you choose, because of its a growing popluartiy amoungst cell phone users. I also liked how you included a personal expericence as well to connect why you choose to write to the editor as well. The only advice i would have to give you would be to perhaps add another space inbetween "Dear Janice J. Chen," and when you actually begin the letter.
-Clarissa E.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nick,
Your letter to the editor was well thought out. It was a good topic since that trend seems to be very popular right now. Everyone already told you the small changes so my job is done. Good job.
Carlos Calderon
I can definitely relate to what you're saying in your article because I have had a spam e-mail message relaying the same fact. Over all you wrote an interesting piece and there's nothing that you really need to improve.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I never downloadeda ring tone, but like everything on the internet, just be carefull who you click on, its not always safe. And who nkonws, maybe you could just purchase the ones formt he company rather than ones made by people that have a midi and tink them out all day. This is a good "warning don't do this" article which is what is needed more often in our world of technology of today.
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