Clarissa Esteves
Writing 2 - 3-5PM
Dr. Emmerling
November 16,2005
Cancer Calling: Cellular Phones Are Convenient, But At What Price?
Objective: Microwave radiation from cellular phones harms the human body, causing serious internal injuries like tumors to the brain.
Method: Laboratory research and epidemiological studies (the branch of medicine that deals with the causes, distribution, and control of disease) exposed lab animals to cellular phone-emitted microwave radiation over long periods of times to gauge the long-term effects of these cellular phones as it influences human brain.
Result: The FDA's (The Food and Drug Administration) and CTIA's (Cellular Telecommunications Industry Association) studies on the hazard of celluar phone-emitted microwave radiation showed damaged brain cells and cancerous risks in the tested animals.
Conclusion: With the explosion of celluar phone usage in the past few years, not enough time has gone by to measure the damage that this microwave radiation will eventually cause. Despite the FDA's warnings about this hazard, no action can be taken to reduce the usage of celluar phones.
Key Terms:
brain tumor
epidemiological
The Food and Drug Administration (FDA)
Cellular Telecommunications Industry Association (CTIA)
Writing 2 - 3-5PM
Dr. Emmerling
November 16,2005
Cancer Calling: Cellular Phones Are Convenient, But At What Price?
Objective: Microwave radiation from cellular phones harms the human body, causing serious internal injuries like tumors to the brain.
Method: Laboratory research and epidemiological studies (the branch of medicine that deals with the causes, distribution, and control of disease) exposed lab animals to cellular phone-emitted microwave radiation over long periods of times to gauge the long-term effects of these cellular phones as it influences human brain.
Result: The FDA's (The Food and Drug Administration) and CTIA's (Cellular Telecommunications Industry Association) studies on the hazard of celluar phone-emitted microwave radiation showed damaged brain cells and cancerous risks in the tested animals.
Conclusion: With the explosion of celluar phone usage in the past few years, not enough time has gone by to measure the damage that this microwave radiation will eventually cause. Despite the FDA's warnings about this hazard, no action can be taken to reduce the usage of celluar phones.
Key Terms:
brain tumor
epidemiological
The Food and Drug Administration (FDA)
Cellular Telecommunications Industry Association (CTIA)
posted by clarissaesteves at 8:36 PM
22 Comments:
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To: Clarissa
From: Steven Maltz
Your topic is interesting and I think you did a great job on this abstract. Your format is good, you have good sentence structure, and your abstract flows smoothly. Overall your abstract is well written and I do not think you need to change anything. In your abstract you were general, but also very informative. I think you covered all that you needed to cover to let the reader know what the article is going to be about. Moreover, I like how you listed the key terms at the bottom of the page. You probably should cite the contributors to the article and overall, you did great job.
Interesting article subject...My first suggestion is about the objective because it sounds more like a statement then what the experiment/research is going to be, do you know what I mean?? Same with the method...it sounds a little hazy but the result and conclusion are very well written. Good juob remembering to list the they terms because I find them to be useful to the reader especially if they google search abstracts on this topic.
I really liked your topic and i thought your abstract was done really well. It was exactly like all of the abstracts I have seen online and in magazines. I thought it was structured very well and I like how you had the key terms listed at the bottom. Your abstract was very detailed and won't leave the reader confused about anything. I really can't think of any suggestions. Good luck!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Clarissa,
Nice job, your abstract seems to be perfect. You have key terms you have the objective, method, results, and conclusion. I cant think of anything other than maybe give a little more introduction to the article before you go into the objective. Great job.
Carlos
Clarissa,
I really liked the topic of your abstract. It is a very important issue that affects the lives of many people. I thought that your use of headings was excellent and I also liked the list of key terms at the end of your abstract. I found your paper to be very complete and can’t come up with any suggestions for improvements.
Jeff Y
Great abstract, your choie of words and organization is excellent. It seems to summarize the study well. Good luck on your final draft.
i think its a very good abstract as well, following the structure we outlined in class. I really like the subject matter, and i think you might want to consider expanding the objective part so as to give a more comprehensive introduction. i really like the conclusion sentence.
The organization of your abstract was straight forward because of the use of the headings. Your entire abstract was pretty straight forward which is what it should be, I'm suprised this isn't published already, good job.
Clarissa,
Good job on the abstract. All I would say now is to just look over it cause you have one or two typos you can very easily fix.
Liz K.
I thought your abstract was very well constructed. It layed out everything clearly and was very informative. I like how you included the key terms also. Overall, great job.
-Liz
Great job, this is a fantastic abstract. You layed everything out in a clear and concise way. IT flows very smoothly. I have no suggestions, just leave it as it is. Great job.
Hey Clarissa,
Awesome topic. Your abstract is organized really well and it flows great. The only thing I would like to mention is that you misspelled cellular.
Tyler Watkins
Clarissa- I really enjoyed reading your abstract because I thought you chose an interesting topic. I also liked the length of your abstract; it was neither to long or short. I think that it would be important to add to your list of key terms a word such as cell phone or something related to a cell phone. Nice work!
Carolyn Tallman
Dear clarissa,
overall its really good, its properly structured and well organized, good grammer, has key terms, and overall is good. however you might want to work on the objective, its good, but as a reader, its seems like your making a statement rather introducing a hypothesis, is you know what i mean, but overall the organization was great. good luck on your final draft
eric
Hey i really liked how used the other way to post an abstract. Are you in Comm 1, they use that a lot more than the other kind. Anyways very nice job, i really enjoyed your subject. I think you covered all you needed. Just go over and make sure you have everything you need in your abstract
I thought your abstract was good format and well written. The information you have doesnt seem to fit into the headings very well though. My suggestion would be to not use them or just reword what you have.
I thought you did a very good job writing your abstrace it seems to follow all the rules we discussed in class. I also liked your key terms at the bottom, however, I think you should add "cellular phone" and "microwave radiation" to the list because they are both very important to your abstract. Other than that and a few grammar / spelling errors your abstract looks great. Good work.
Fantastic bit of literature you have here. The only part of your work you could improve on is your objective. As stated above it comes off as a statement. Granted it is not bad at all but it could be better. Good luck on your final peice.
Clarissa,
Very good topic that everyone should know about. Your abstract is really good and very well laid out. The really good thing is that you got the point across in a very simple lingo that everyone can understand. I don't think that you need to make any changes to you abstract.
I think that your abstract looks perfect. I think you could make you Objective statement more clear though. What were the researchers trying to prove or find. The title explains the objective better than the objective explains itself. Otherwise good job!
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